gratitude

Find your blessings and then leverage them!

/ antonioyrocinante / 2 Comments

Yes, I live in a sort of self-imposed exile. No, I do not live in political exile like some of my friends. I do not live in economic or some other sort of exile; mine is occupational. I cannot do the work I do here at home. On top of that, it is no secret that for me, South Florida has very few redeeming qualities. So I could live a bitter and resentful life. However, I try to find the positive and leverage it.

One of the many blessings I enjoy every day is walking from my office, across campus to the refectory, where I make myself a coffee with steamed milk in a professional espresso machine (and grab a cookie to dunk). We have a 73-acre campus which used to be an emergency landing strip for WWII pilots learning to fly out of what is now Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton.

About in the middle of our campus is a lake with a fountain, plenty of fish, and a wonderful path around it! So every morning I walk along the lake, and it is beautiful! Every day is different, cloudy, bright, rainy (this is Florida after all). There are all sorts of wildlife: birds, squirrels, and, if you are lucky, turtles!!

That walk is my first meditation of the day; it is a walk of thanksgiving, of gratitude, of joy, it is splendid!

So, while I could be doing that walk moaning and complaining that I am not home, I choose to enjoy that walk and thank God. I invite you to find your blessings and leverage them. You are welcome.

Lake collage

Thanksgiving vs giving thanks

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Delivering Thanksgiving meals

Sorry for participating in the Thanksgiving overkill, but I figured this was a good a time as any to write about this.

While I am a fan of giving thanks, I am not a fan of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is another exaggerated and incongruous element of American culture. The other 364 days money and work take precedent over gratitude and even family. I know this as I consistently survey my students to see how many have real sit-down dinners with family, few do. I do not celebrate Thanksgiving, but I try to be grateful every day. An example of this might be the daily gratitude diary that I have written for years now. It is quite simple and rewarding, here is how it works. Find a blank notebook and then you write:

Monday – Three things that you are grateful from the weekend.

Tuesday – A good thing that you did or that happened to you, now or in the past.

Wednesday – Write down a resolution… and then fulfill it!!

Thursday – Letter of thanks. To anybody dead or alive, real or fiction, whatever.

Friday – Three good things from the week.

Weekend – rest

I use this as part of my evening meditation practice, and I find it extremely calming and satisfying.

Now, back to Thanksgiving. While the holiday does nothing for me, I love how quiet it is! It is the quietest day of the year! So, I can go for a run or a walk, stay home and watch a movie, cook, or write my blog.

We are blessed at work, because our kitchen staff led by Philippe from Bordeaux cooks an amazing Thanksgiving dinner for lunch a few days before the break, so I do get my share of turkey, stuffing, pies, etc. Also, this year my friend Manuel invited me on Friday to have dinner with his kids, so that was fun.

This year I celebrated Thanksgiving by delivering dinners to low income or sick people. It was organized very well by my parish, and I drove around all over Boynton Beach delivering meals. People were really grateful, which made it all worthwhile. Oh, for myself? I cooked some killer spaghetti!!

Mind, body and soul, exercise, yoga and meditation

/ antonioyrocinante / 1 Comment

Baking brownies for the Ronald McDonald Family Room
Accept yourself
Giving your time is awesome therapy
The French way has a strong spiritual charge
Conversing with brother Eulogio, a Benedictine monk
A quiet garden to meditate in near my house
Richard Rohr’s wonderful lessons
Practicing Yoga on the Camino, wonderful session!

For a few years, since 2010 to be precise, I have been actively seeking inner peace, not just talking about it with a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other staring at a sunset. It is only with breakage that one slowly lets go of the ego and matures through Kierkegaard’s three stages that we have seen before (the aesthetic, the ethic and the spiritual). With my divorce and the life changes brought about by that trauma, I started seeking solace and understanding. My first, basically subconscious moves were to exercise, to work with a therapist (the amazing Dr. Nemser), I went to church on Sunday – and have not missed a Sunday since (maybe a couple but only for reasons of force majeure), and volunteering. I started reading Scripture every night, then I got hooked on Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations, I tried to find inspiring readings, revisiting Tolstoy’s The death of Ivan Illich, Milton, Jalics, etc. With time I started meditating, then I started yoga, then came walking the pilgrimage to Santiago…

Little by little I started realizing in my body, mind and spirit that all these things were connected, that working with one affected the other two. Yoga, even weightlifting quieted my mind, meditating relaxed my body and spirit. Breathing helped me stretch during yoga. I realized that while we are made up of many different things, we are in fact one totality of being with a single energy.

I started yoga lessons in North Carolina about six years ago. It was the perfect thing for saturdays after friday night soccer games. And just like that I was hooked. I normally find a gym or a studio that has lessons, but in a pinch I use an app called Down Dog which is very scalable!

For meditation, I usually wait until the end of the day so I have nothing left to do that day. Or I parcel out a time to mediate. I sit and breathe, focussing on my breathing for twenty minutes. I use a great app called Insight timer where I can time myself, take courses, dial into guided meditations – and it keeps track of your progress!

Then I started using these techniques with my athletes when I coached, most recently and successfully the tennis players at the Hun School. Yoga on days in between games, a bit of meditation before games, it all translated to happier, less injured, more understanding players.

Volunteering has been a key factor in my recent growth and maturity. First at Community Servings in Boston cooking for sick, homebound families. In Chapel Hill I volunteered every monday night for four years at the Ronald McDonald House. In Naples I helped out the St. Vincent de Paul charities. Now in Madrid I’m helping at the Ronald McDonald Family Room at the La Paz Hospital in Madrid, for families with premature babies.

My second pilgrimage to Santiago I really focused on walking, meditating, stopping at churches for contemplation, doing yoga after the day’s walk. It really was magical, and I noticed a holistic improvement!

Healing is a long process that there is no way to rush. Acceptance, gratitude, patience, forgiveness, compassion, perspective, humility, understanding, generosity, none of these knock on your door overnight. One must consciously work at healing, it is slowly working for me, give it a try!